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Wednesday 10 May 2017

Feeling Lost ....

This isn't going to be a upbeat post like normal and if you dont want to read this post then i totally understand.

Iv had this post in my drafts for a while and i keep adding things to it and never posting it until now.

As of late i feel lost and excluded from the YouTube world. 

My views are going down the only video that gets really good views is my primark hauls which i love but my bank doesn't.
Not only that the only friends i had within the YouTube community have now stopped making YouTube videos i feel like i dont fit in to any communities on YouTube and im all on my own. I see everyone making friends from YouTube and it sucks that im not apart of that.

Its the same with the blogging community i feel so lost im in a couple of whatsapp blog groups and i just feel that my responses get lost in the sea of people. The same with the blogging chats on twitter i feel my replies get dismissed. Everyone has there own friendship groups and even when i get let in i feel like im imposing and i eventually just fade out of the friendship (that maybe my anxiety)

Even with my closest friends i feel left out because i dont drink and all my other friends they've stopped inviting me out unless its to birthdays and even then i think its grudgingly as they know id be hurt if i wasn't invited and they've stopped inviting me on days out and i only get to see my best friend when we go to aqua zumba on a Tuesday. 

I know im lucky to have close friends and i shouldn't be for one of a better word bitching about how i only see my best friend once a week as i know some people dont have anyone.

I know all this is very minimal with everything else thats going on in the world i know that. I just think over time my anxiety has made me feel very lost with everything not just blogging YouTube and friends.

Sorry for the ramble post normal posts will be resumed next time (: 

Becki x


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