This isn't going to be a upbeat post like normal and if you dont want to read this post then i totally understand.
Iv had this post in my drafts for a while and i keep adding things to it and never posting it until now.
As of late i feel lost and excluded from the YouTube world.
My views are going down the only video that gets really good views is my primark hauls which i love but my bank doesn't.
Not only that the only friends i had within the YouTube community have now stopped making YouTube videos i feel like i dont fit in to any communities on YouTube and im all on my own. I see everyone making friends from YouTube and it sucks that im not apart of that.
Its the same with the blogging community i feel so lost im in a couple of whatsapp blog groups and i just feel that my responses get lost in the sea of people. The same with the blogging chats on twitter i feel my replies get dismissed. Everyone has there own friendship groups and even when i get let in i feel like im imposing and i eventually just fade out of the friendship (that maybe my anxiety)
Even with my closest friends i feel left out because i dont drink and all my other friends they've stopped inviting me out unless its to birthdays and even then i think its grudgingly as they know id be hurt if i wasn't invited and they've stopped inviting me on days out and i only get to see my best friend when we go to aqua zumba on a Tuesday.
I know im lucky to have close friends and i shouldn't be for one of a better word bitching about how i only see my best friend once a week as i know some people dont have anyone.
I know all this is very minimal with everything else thats going on in the world i know that. I just think over time my anxiety has made me feel very lost with everything not just blogging YouTube and friends.
Sorry for the ramble post normal posts will be resumed next time (:
Becki x
Aw Becki I'm so sorry that you're feeling so disillusioned at the moment! I will go and subscribe to your YouTube now and make sure to watch more than just your Primark hauls! I hope that writing this all down has helped you in some way, just letting feelings out can help! Have you tried talking to your best mate while you're at aqua zumba about feeling excluded? Sending positive vibes your way!
ReplyDeleteAbbey 💕 www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk
I'm sorry you're feeling like that Becki! I must admit I feel the exact same way. This post was so relatable to me because my anxiety stops me from putting myself out there and then when I do I fee as though I don't fit in. I've been blogging for two years and haven't met a single other blogger or made any concrete blogging friendships. Although I'm sure you'll agree today we have all bonded in the blog chat even if it was over something negative! I'm excited to start building friendships with all of you lovely girls in the chat! -xo
ReplyDeletechloedanielle.co.uk
I'm so sorry you feel like this lovely!
ReplyDeleteI honestly think everyone has days like this, it took me so long to find a group of blogging girls that accepted me, you will too! You seem like such a lovely girl!
As for your friends, they don't sound like great friends to me! Maybe be honest with them and voice how hurt you are? If they're real friends they'll listen.
You can always message me on twitter, or anywhere else, if you ever need too! I'd love to get to know you and we can be blogger friends girl!
<3