Honesty Time

Hey everyone 

I always say honesty is the best policy but lately Iv been lying to you all and for that I’m really sorry. 

I’m not doing to well with my mental health I’m snappy at everyone I just want to be left alone (which isn’t easy when you still live at home) I know I’m not depressed (I know the signs for that as Iv been depressed before) maybe it’s my anxiety but I don’t know.

I think what’s affecting me more is if you read my reasons why men suck post then you’d know about this but let’s call him Instagram guy is off for Easter to meet his gf parents I only know this because he told me and it shouldn’t bother me I know it shouldn’t but I think the reason why it has so much is because he kept us secret from his mates his family everyone where as I told people about me and him and I suppose in a way lead me on or maybe it was me maybe I friendzoned him ? As I have a habit of doing that whenever anyone gets close to me which is why I’m still single 🤦🏼‍♀️ I know your all shouting at your screens why am I still talking to him because I love talking to him he’s great when I’m a big anxiety mess but Iv left him on read today and Iv never done that Iv also turned my show when I’m active on messenger so I’m not tempted to message him not that he will care that Iv left him on read or that I havn’t check led in for a few days (I’m hoping to not message him this whole weekend let’s see how long that lasts) Also side note when I asked him if they were bf n gf he went yeah we are haha why haha why not a smiley face am I the only one who finds that weird probably 😂 


It also doesn’t help that I’m basically losing my best friend it always seems to be me contacting her unless she needs something from me I can’t always be the one checking in when I don’t get anything back. 

Maybe it is my anxiety making all this in to a big thing or maybe I’m overthinking but I do know something isn’t quite right with my mental health and I think all this has contributed to it just typing it out now feels better.

So thank you for listening (well reading lol) 

Becki x