Honesty Time

Hey everyone 

I always say honesty is the best policy but lately Iv been lying to you all and for that I’m really sorry. 

I’m not doing to well with my mental health I’m snappy at everyone I just want to be left alone (which isn’t easy when you still live at home) I know I’m not depressed (I know the signs for that as Iv been depressed before) maybe it’s my anxiety but I don’t know.

I think what’s affecting me more is if you read my reasons why men suck post then you’d know about this but let’s call him Instagram guy is off for Easter to meet his gf parents I only know this because he told me and it shouldn’t bother me I know it shouldn’t but I think the reason why it has so much is because he kept us secret from his mates his family everyone where as I told people about me and him and I suppose in a way lead me on or maybe it was me maybe I friendzoned him ? As I have a habit of doing that whenever anyone gets close to me which is why I’m still single 🤦🏼‍♀️ I know your all shouting at your screens why am I still talking to him because I love talking to him he’s great when I’m a big anxiety mess but Iv left him on read today and Iv never done that Iv also turned my show when I’m active on messenger so I’m not tempted to message him not that he will care that Iv left him on read or that I havn’t check led in for a few days (I’m hoping to not message him this whole weekend let’s see how long that lasts) Also side note when I asked him if they were bf n gf he went yeah we are haha why haha why not a smiley face am I the only one who finds that weird probably 😂 


It also doesn’t help that I’m basically losing my best friend it always seems to be me contacting her unless she needs something from me I can’t always be the one checking in when I don’t get anything back. 

Maybe it is my anxiety making all this in to a big thing or maybe I’m overthinking but I do know something isn’t quite right with my mental health and I think all this has contributed to it just typing it out now feels better.

So thank you for listening (well reading lol) 

Becki x

The Blogger Recognition Award

I always knew i wasn't the best blogger at keeping up my blog but it turns out im now a terrible blogger as i was tagged in this by the lovely Tiffany from Food and other loves on the 6th March 2017 !! I am publicly apologizing to Tiffany for taking 3 years to finally complete this tag. 

























                                                           Rules

Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog
Write a post to show your award
Give a brief story of how your blog started
Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers
Select 15 other bloggers you want to give this award to
Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them and provide the link to the post you created

How My Blog Started 

The Blog your reading now iv had since August 2016 but i actually had another blog which i started way back in 2014 but i had to get rid off it due to blogger not saving any off my posts and the fact that when you clicked on my blog it took you to a hook up site which wasn't what my blog was about at all !! I started my blog as i loved reading sprinkle of glitters blog and decided to give it ago myself and here we are almost 6/7 years later if my math is correct lol !

Advice to new Bloggers 

Just be yourself - Write about what you want to write about dont just copy other bloggers who are successful as people see through that straight away. People will respect you so much more if your blog is unique to you.

Interact with other bloggers- Find other blogs you love to read follow the people on social media , join in on twitter chats ,create a group chat on whatsapp it really is limitless and who knows you might actually end up forming life long friendships with these people (: 

It says to tag 15 other bloggers but seeing as this is from 3 years ago im pretty sure that everyone has already done this post. So if your reading this and you haven't been nominated or you just want to do it then i tag you (: let me know if you do the tag as id love to read it and comment on them (: 

Reasons Why Men Suck

I'm not saying its all guys , most of you are probably very nice , it just seems to be i meet the shit guys or the guys who start out lovely then show their true colours (these are the worst). 

If you are a guy and your reading this I'm pretty sure you could write a post on why women suck and to be fair some women do.

1/. They only want sex !!

I'm not a prude i love sex as much as the next person but i am sick and tired of talking to guys and all they want to do is get in to my pants !!. I think they really want to get to know me and he likes me as we are meeting up and talking everyday but he's only doing that as he thinks I'm going to let him fuck me. I'm not naive i knew if i had given in and said yes that would off been it he would of had his fun and i would of been left hurt and angry - Apparently not just my experience from research. 

2/. They can become nasty and hurtful 

Following on from they just want sex if you do turn them down regardless of reason not all men may i just add just immature ones who will start saying hurtful stuff 
E.G - I was only doing it for a bet 
You wont get anyone better then me (newsflash men we do)
No-one will fuck you you fat beach whale and so on. Now these do not affect me in fact they make me laugh but imagine if you said it to a girl and she believed all those things or shes in a bad state she could do something maybe something irreversible just think next time guys. 

3/.They are liars 

They say things you want to hear , They tell you that they are single or just not ready to date yet. 
My personal Fave (this happened to me today)
You think they are still single and in to you as your working out when you can next see him due to working shifts and talking to him everyday only to find out via instagram that hes in a relationship and only tells you when you confront him !! I'm almost positive he wouldn't of told me if i hadn't of confronted him. 

I'm almost 99.9% sure the guy iv just told you about ^^ doesn't know i have a blog i have mentioned no names as I'm not nasty and if you are reading this and you know the last one is about you i promise I'm not being nasty and its not a swipe at you the rest of the post isn't about you it's just the Instagram bit. I will say i thank the guy for bringing me out of my comfort zone and making me try new things and for making me less anxious when i met up with you you have comfort zen about you. If im being totally honest you did inspire this post when i found out but that's it.


Please tell me that some decent guys exist ?? 


Becki x

Welcome 2019 - My 2019 Goals

Better late then ever with this post am i right lol !!

Iv put together a list of Goals id love to achieve by the end of 2019 hopefully my 2019 roundup post I'll off completed some of these and not failed. 

1. Get healthier 

This goes without saying if you saw my why i don't upload to youtube anymore then you will know I'm not comfortable with the way i look so next week iv booked in to start clubbersize (I'm hoping I'll like it as its to cold for Aqua Fusion at the moment) I'm not looking to lose a load of weight maybe two dress sizes fingers crossed. 

2. Start saying no 

I say yes to a lot of things which is good but some of them make me feel really anxious and i only say yes to not hurt anyone's feelings but this year i need to put myself first and if it means someones upset with me then I'm sorry but its better then me being a anxious mess all day.

3. Grow my blog 

I have no excuse not to do this. I have planned blog content until may (: 

4. Change my hair 

I think I'm getting tired of being blonde it always goes wrong whenever i dye it i ended up bleaching it the other month and it went yellow its only just started to look like a normal blonde and my roots need doing again *insert face palm emoji here* 

5. find a singing group 

I used to belong to one and i loved it. Music is a big part of my life and i love singing. 

6. Actually use my iPod

My mum bought me a new one a couple of Christmas's ago once she saw how i had to charge my ipod touch (i had to dangle it over a counter for it to actually charge) and iv hardly used it. i need to update the songs and charge it. its in my bag but I'm using spotify at the moment (the free version I'm not paying £9.99 when i have a iPod lol)  

7. Go to more concerts this year 

Technically iv already failed this one as no-one will come with me to see Olly Murs or Westlife but i am going to see Rocky Horror in Feb (: 

8. Tattoo ? 

 Iv been saying for years i want a tattoo. I actually want two one that is personal to me and the New York Sky Line one on my wrist one on my arm. The reason i haven't yet is I'm very afraid of needles. 

9. Pass my drivers test 

This really should of been number one but to be honest these are not in order I'm done messing around saying oh this year il book and pass its a matter of i need to. I finish work at 11pm most days and its becoming annoying having to get the tram and then wait for my connecting bus at 11:20pm plus its cold at the moment it takes me a good 45 Min's to get home but if i drove it would only take me 15 Min's its a no brainer really. 

10. Save money 

 This is one i actually nailed last year i opened another bank account up just for savings and im working my way to a deposit for a house and furniture. 

December Music Faves

So iv basically failed on blogmas 2018 so im just putting out normal blogposts again tbh my first two blogmas have done so bad compared to other years so with that being said It's been a while since iv done one of these but i didn't want to not finish 2018 without bringing it back (: there is a lot of music i have been loving this month so get comfortable and carry on reading (: I have also linked all the songs so if you like the sound of 1 or a couple you can listen without having to find it (:















Simple Plan - Jet Lag ft. Natasha Bedingfield

Opinion Overload

Breaking The Chain

Class of 2017 Mash-Up

Up

Laura Marano - Parachute

This Song Saved My Life

How Come You Don't Want Me

Eighteen

Stereo Hearts

Backstreet Boys Medley

High Hopes

I Am Human

Take Your Love

The Greatest Show

A Million Dreams

A Million Dreams (Reprise)

The Cure

Tightrope

My Dark Side

Best of 2014, Pop Mashup



















Becki x

Blogmas Day Two - Netflix Christmas Movies You Need To Watch

I have no shame that since November i have been watching Christmas movies most of them being on netflix as i don't have a TV in my room to watch my Christmas DVDs on.

So iv complied a list of my fave ones that i think deserve a mention and a watch (:

Christmas Wedding Planner

I downloaded a Christmas wedding planner so i could watch it during my breaks at work and i was hooked i couldn't wait for my next break (don't we all) so i could watch a bit more of it. It is very predictable but what cheesy Christmas romance isn't.

The Princess Switch

I loved Vanessa Hudgens in high school musical (didn't we all?) and truth be told iv not watched her in anything else until the princess switch its a good film to escape to and live the fantasy with her. I mean falling in love with a prince sounds pretty awesome.

Arthur Christmas

I love this film its not my favourite Christmas movie i think we can all guess what is lol but i love the movie and the heartfelt message that comes with it. Its the best movie to show children who start questioning how Santa can get round the whole world in one night. Its heartwarming and bound to put you in a Christmas mood. 

Nativity

I have to admit when Nativity came out i didn't get the buzz around it until it came on to Netflix and  i decided to watch it. It's such a cute film and reminded me of being back in primary school playing a angel and a wiseman in year 5 and 6 though our plays weren't as big or dramatic as the one in Nativity. 

Deck The Halls 

Taking Christmas decorating to the extreme and i love it. It just proves how far someone will go to out do a neighbour or a friend and when i get my own house i so want to be able to do that. 

There are loads more Christmas films on Netflix that i haven't watched yet so there maybe a part 2 during blogmas (: 

Becki x

Blogmas Day One - Gift Guide under £5

Hey everyone and welcome back to Blogmas i cannot believe how quick this year has gone :o

This Gift guide is perfect if your looking for last minute gifts or just dont want to spend a fortune or maybe your using this to look for stocking fillers.

Next 

Next wasn't a place id thought to look for gifts under £5 until i went in my local store the other week and saw some good things for under £5 

1. Eau Nude Body Spray 
2. Flowers Eau De Parfum
3. Sparkle Eau De Parfum
4, Boohoo Beauty Galactic Mist Quilted Baked Highlighter

Primark 


































1.Grey Crossbody Bag
2.Grey Fluffy Star Slipper
3.Friends 4Pk Espresso Cups
4.Nude Quilted Crossbody

Peacocks

1. Womens Iridescent Flip Sequin Cosmetic Bag
2. Womens 2pk Pink Fluffy Socks
3.Womens M Initial Pendant Necklace
4. Womens Technic Mystic Mauve Eye Palette 

Superdrug


































1. Superdrug Studio London Pink Lip Liner and Lip Gloss Kit
2. Superdrug Sweet Shop Mini Sweet Jars x5
3. Dove Radiant Beauty Duo Gift Set
4. Superdrug Scent Boutique Tropical Nights Body Mist Gift Set

Becki x

Why i don't upload to youtube anymore

This is going to be such a ramble of a post so settle down with a drink and strap yourselves in.

The other day i put a poll out on Instagram asking you guys which post i should blog about and this one won (: if you want to vote in future polls then search @beckismith93 or just click the link iv provided for you (: you should follow me anyway i'm always very active on insta (:

I started my first YouTube channel in 2011 (All the video's are private on their) so you can't go searching for them.
I started by uploading little tv clips then turned it in to a singing channel which i loved i filmed them on a blackberry torch remember them ?
In really bad lighting as i filmed them very late at night (nothing new there) but then people from school started finding the videos and i'm pretty sure a few ''so called friends'' made up fake YouTube accounts just to post nasty comments i mean i have no proof but at that time YouTube was a safe heaven and nobody really got nasty comments so i made the video's private and said i'd never do youtube again flash forward to 2012 and i made a new channel the one iv been uploading on ever since if you've been around since them days then you will remember the first video a whats in my bag (i loved that bag so much wish i could find another)

I was gaining subscribers not as much as other channels but i was happy with how my channel was progressing i was putting videos out as and when i could which probably didn't help with trying to gain subscribers but never the less i was happy with my channel and my videos fast forward to 2017 and the whole youtube fuck up which meant it was harder and harder for small channels to get noticed and we didn't get paid anymore (not that i got paid more then £1 a month anyway lol) my views went down i used to get over 600 for a primark video and i was barely scrapping 200 views my christmas videos used to be one of my most watched but last year they tanked really bad and i know its not all about the views but lets be honest it is but i persevered until my last video which was my hamster video.


I started to hate the way i looked in videos which is really dangerous. I hated how huge i looked on camera, i hated how my hair looked i hated how fat my face looked,i just hated everything to do with youtube and filming it really was self damaging.For a while i didn't even watch my subscription feed as i just hated youtube. I have videos filmed ready to edit on my ipad but i hate how i look in them. It got to the point that i had to decide what was better for my mental health still uploading but without me in the video but then that would lead to questions on why im not in my videos anymore or just take a break which is what iv done at the moment i have no plans to come back to youtube as i dont want to go down that spiral again its very destructive and not good at all for my mental health.

I don't know what will happen to my channel or if i will come back im happy blogging i can do it from anywhere and i can look how ever i like and no-one will ever know which pleases me greatly.

For anyone who loves my primark hauls they have now turned in to blogpost's same with what i got for chrismas and whats in my stocking. I don't know what im going to do about my annual birthday vlog yet as i love filming them.

This isn't goodbye youtube its see you later

Becki x